These Two Words Have Helped Countless Grievers Come Back to Life After Loss
A simple phrase releases loads of mental pressure
Grieving people put themselves under an astounding amount of pressure. Whether they’re trying to be productive, working to keep their emotions in check, or striving to be the people they used to be before a loss, the expectations grievers place on themselves never fail to surprise me.
I once worked with a client I’ll call Kelly who was grieving the deaths of several family members and the dissolution of an engagement. On top of running a business and caretaking several foster animals, she was suddenly responsible for going through her home and sorting her former partner’s items from her own. It was a daunting process, because—as can be expected—massive waves of grief greeted her in every drawer, cabinet, and laundry basket. She was surrounded by pieces of a formerly shared life while simultaneously facing the reality of her aloneness in the aftermath of several cumulative losses.
During one of our sessions, Kelly expressed frustration at her slow pace, berating herself for not being able to just do the deed and be done with it. Every room she combed through took several days to process, and she often found herself taking days off afterwards to recover from the emotional and physical…
